You Know You Have Lived in the Middle East Too Long When:

You Know You've Lived in the Middle East Too Long When ...
1. You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
2. You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
3. You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah" (if God wills it)
4. You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside
5. Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
6. You believe that speed limits are only advisory
7. You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iran
8. You get excited and spread the news when chocolate chips, marshmallows, graham crackers, (the list could go on) show up at the grocery store
9. You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign
10. You know what a shawarma is, and which end to unwrap first
11. You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
12. You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn
13. You don't even think about the price of gas
14. You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer
15. You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought
16. You expect gold for every birthday
17. You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table
18. You think water only comes in bottles
19. When having a bad hair day, you kind of envy the women in the abayas
20. You understand that when someone says "Bukra (tomorrow), Insha'Allah" to you it really means "Sometime during this calendar year"...if you're lucky!

Been here too long!